The Mixed Emotions

As I sit here writing this, I’m sat in my living room with one of our two cats curled up alongside me keeping one side warm. It’s 9 days before Christmas, our decorated tree stands tall all lit up on my left and on my right is a small table with the leftovers of my dinner. The TV is off, spotify is playing some acoustic versions of songs which is random I know but it’s quite nice.

It’s 21:50. Two hours to the minute since I arrived home and put my key into my front door.

My drive to/from work takes me along the M4, some of it limited annoyingly to 50mph. On my way back tonight it was ridiculously foggy and was not a pleasant journey if I’m honest.

elton john

My soundtrack was the hits of Elton John (‘Tiny Dancer’, ‘I guess why they call it the blues’ and ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’). Odd choice you might think, but last weekend I finally got around to watching ‘RocketMan’ which if you haven’t seen it already is really worth the two hours hence the choice of music for the trip.

That little nugget of pointless information aside, my journey usually gives me time to sing along to songs, chat on the phone (hands free!), listen to a few podcasts alongside doing a fair amount of thinking. Sometimes it’s the mundane things I think about for example what I like to call ‘life admin’ and other times it’s personal/work related/anything that my brain attaches onto.

A first for me, I wanted to share with you the thoughts that eclipsed my head earlier which made me feel all sorts of emotions that only hit me every so often.

Cut a relatively long story short, I’ve recently surpassed the year mark of being the ‘Drivetime presenter’ on ‘96.4 The Wave’.

To put it succinctly in black and white, I’m incredibly privileged to be presenting 2-7pm on the Number 1 station serving South West Wales and really glad to be working alongside some brilliant people (on and off the air). I’m throwing myself into situations where I want to learn more, expand what I can do as a person and it keeps me occupied too.

Every time I put the mic live I feel a sense of pride and I’ll always smile at that.

76730149_10159169989783625_5977312582912966656_n.jpg

I started the show I currently present on the 26th November 2018.

It was near enough two months after one of my best friends passed away. I can’t call it a regret because it’s not but I really wish he was around for me to tell him that after a meeting with my now boss in a Costa Coffee in Bridgend I’d been offered the chance to present a regular slot on a market-leading commercial radio station… which would be his opportunity for him to tell anyone and everyone that I was doing so. He’d been championing my career for many years and at the time of his death, I was considering options which would take me out of radio completely to which he was supporting but knew that I had my heart set on achieving what I always wanted to do which was broadcast.

It was bittersweet and took me a few weeks to process on my own before sharing it with others because he shared my pride, rarely a negative word however abstract and bizarre my aspirations were sometimes.

As I type this now, I’m getting upset so I’m going to try and flip it back to a happier place  for both you and I before I finish.

As much as it’s sad, it’s a matter of fact we can’t change the past but what you can do is smile at the memories.

Nearing the end of my journey earlier I indicated, left the motorway and headed in the direction of my house through the countless sets of traffic lights. I thought this last year has flown by, It’s a cliche to say that but it really has.

I can sum up in short why it’s flown by. I’ve enjoyed it in all aspects, however challenging at times but I’m in a really happy place. This year I’ve been here, there and everywhere and there are plans to do the same in 2020.

One of the last things my late friend said to me was, “go see the world before it’s too late” and that’s resounded with me ever since.

So with that in mind, In September I spent the first anniversary of my late friends death in Paris. It gave me a chance to appreciate lots more now than I ever have done before and will continue to do so as the years go on.

Life is about experiences and who you choose to experience them with

Thanks for reading x

J and J


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